There are times when I really worry about going back to New Jersey someday, and what that would mean for my sense of who I am. I am sort of a chameleon, able all my life to take on the colors and flavors of the milieu I am in. For example, at different times of my life I have been: San Francisco college student; political volunteer; corporate wife; career woman; rural/suburban housewife; and, now, woman about Verona, a city of 260,000.
My last iteration in rural/suburban New Jersey was one that I found to be boring. So easy to settle into a routine of gardening, shopping, all that...I needed more. So, I campaigned hard to move to Italy. My husband said that I became like the Queen Mary setting off for Europe...a straight line, full steam ahead.
Here, yet another side of me has emerged. I have become more independent. Paradoxically, not having a car seems to be the key to independence. I walk everywhere by necessity, or take public transportation. Going out the door into the city on foot is always an adventure. This isn't possible in rural/suburban New Jersey. You need a car, period, end of story. You have to plan where you are going, you miss seeing a lot while on your way to your destination.
Angel and I have developed symbiotically parallel lives...he cycles, I help out my friend at her shop. The apartment is home base. He travels with his cycling group; I have ventured out to travel alone. In New Jersey, we would always be going to places together. We are actually more independent of each other in Verona. That leads, I am happy to say, to being more 'together' than we ever were: planning wonderful trips, going to events, running into friends while walking in the city. I don't want to give that up, and am seeing that life in New Jersey can be isolating. It takes so long to get anywhere, we waste so much time in cars.
1 comment:
I found life in the U.S. extremely lonely somehow. And all due to the great importance that cars have been given in American society. It isolates people. You go in your car, mostly alone since everyone you know works, and spend alone time. Everywhere you go you have to bring the car, again alone. In areas like Los Angeles, people spend hours everyday in their car in the traffic. All isolated and alone. In Europe I have to interact with people on buses, on trains, in cafes, etc. Its much more fulfilling to me.
Being back in Europe (which I love) I almost feel it was a mistake to live in the U.S. I feel lost many good years that could have been better for me in Europe. I love to be back and would never want to live in the U.S. again. I actually find the whole culture so plastic, artiifical and boring I don't even want to visit. No soul, really.
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